Tuesday, April 9, 2019

I'm Giving Up Bridge

By Anonymous:
I'm giving up Bridge, tonight's my last night.
It's amen to Stayman, I give up the fight.
The insults and muddles are giving me troubles.
I can't sleep at night for thinking of doubles.

My cards are all rotten, and I have forgotten,
Who's played, and what's trumps, and what's gone on my right!
So for now it's all over, I'm off to the backwoods.
I'm bidding good-bye to Gerbers and Blackwoods.

I can't stand the hassle, I can't stand the pain.
I'm getting those bad cards again and again.
So I'm giving up Bridge, tonight's a bad night.
Declarer is horrid and nothing's gone right.

My partner's a dope and I'm losing all hope.
And when she says "double," I know we're in trouble.
My points are not high, and I'm wondering why
She kept right on bidding, clear up to the sky.

We're in seven spades, and all my hope fades,
When to my surprise, the high bidding pays!
We're winning all tricks; the defenders look sick,
And I have to admit, my partner's a brick.

But I'm giving up Bridge, tonight's my last night.
Farewell to conventions, I give up the fight!
So I leave with few words, but some that are true,
Bridge is a game - not for me, but for you.

So be kind to your partners and don't mind their cheek.
For it's only a game.
Oh yes, I'll see you next week!

Tags: bridge, humor